"To Whom Much Is Given Shall Much Be Required."
Luke 12: 48
TURMOIL
Those words helped to lay to rest my fears, inhibitions, lack of qualifications and resources. All of those negative thoughts could not hinder God from accomplishing what He wanted me to do, so I had to trust Him to open the way and make the pathway He would have me to walk a clear path. What I needed was the faith of Abraham whom the Bible tells us that:
“... staggered not at the promise of God through unbelief; but was strong in faith, giving glory to God;
And being fully persuaded that, what he had promised, he was able also to perform.”
Romans 4: 20-21.
"I waited patiently for the LORD; and he inclined unto me, and heard my cry.
He brought me up also out of an horrible pit, out of the miry clay,
and set my feet upon a rock, and established my goings.
And he hath put a new song in my mouth,even praise unto our God:
many shall see it, and fear, and shall trust in the LORD."
Psalm 40: 1-3
“A man's (or woman's) gift maketh room for him, and bringeth him before great men”
Proverbs 18: 6
I was actually beginning to be aware of the possibility that God had much more than a small circuit for me but the whole world! Could it be that a little nobody from the tiny Island of Jersey would be used by God to reach souls in need – globally? Who was I to contemplate such thoughts? I often confessed these to my heavenly Father believing them to be thoughts of self aggrandizement; something that will not be tolerated by either God or godly people.
There was a dreadful battle going on inside my thoughts. Questions and doubts were coming in like a flood overwhelming and drowning me with confusion. I felt very uncomfortable about what I may end up doing fearful of stepping out in the wrong direction altogether. I felt much safer being hidden away. Could it be possible that I had engineered all the verses of Scripture I had in my collection to say what I wanted them to say? I had to know for sure and without a single doubt that the steps I believed I must take were indeed according to the will of God and not according to my own fancy. I asked God to release me of these thoughts and desires if He didn't really want me to be engaged in this type of activity.
In an attempt to silence these thoughts I made the decision to put my little book away and refuse to even contemplate such ideas. For a little while I had rest – but not for long!
